That madness you feel
When you wish you did not exist.
When life is at apoint of inanimate sorrow
You pray your very existence did not matter.
Pain could not even begin to explain
That which torments my mind each day.
Confusion could come close to it
But it would be the understatement of the century.
Sometimes I wish I did not care
Or at least not have a weak emotional pillar
That gets so easily broken
Even when it is unreasonable for it to happen.
I wish things could turn out better
Without me having to put myself through that painful torture
Of being the one to make the first step.
If I leave things as they are
I and not the opponent will suffer.
Is it fair?
Of course not.
But life sucks without trying.
So I surrender to the bondage of life
And leave it to God to mae it right.
But what good does that do?
It only makes me helpless and utterly vulnerable
Yet the situation in itself is weakening my soul.
Forgive me for caring
Punish my heart for hoping
Torment my mind for believing in the positive
Crush me for being so weak
But please don't hate me for loving you.