Thursday, 28 November 2013

THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE

Another morning comes
And I am woken by the shuffling of feet and the hustle and bustle of cars
The endless hooting tears at my ears until
I realize that today will be no different from yesterday.
I wake up to the same madness each morn.
As  if I am pleading to exist
Yet I curse that very existence.
You on the other hand wish my life away.
The constant relentless stares remind me that I am a vermin.
A pest hoping that people will glance at and see
But you look and see through me.
You behave as though I am infested
Infested with a gruesome spirit of poverty and filth
Filling the streets with a slow, inviting, torturous air whose scent is more bitter than gile.
For me,
All I can reminisce on is death.
I yearn for that final grip that will put an end to my pain.
The pain is more than physical.
It is the constant reminder that I am less valued than the crawling creatures.
You don't even feel I deserve the two shillings change you get from the supermarket.
And when it lands in my hands,
It is the guilt and pity you feel from a Sunday preaching.
You say I should get a job.
If child labour is not good enough for your child,
Does it make it right for me in my circumstance?
Yes, beggars cannot be choosers
But do you think I chose my predicament?
The little hope I had left me one slow night
When I almost came face to face to death
But sadly even death doesn't want me
So I am left to wander the streets.
You will always see me
You will always ignore me
But I will never stop wishing that I was in your shoes.

Yours truly,
The street urchin....

Saturday, 19 October 2013

ANOTHER CHAPTER ENDS

Most of my life I spent writing poems and I had fun expressing myself on paper. They were even more valuable when people seemed to connect with the art of playing with words from an emotional and intellectual level mixed. However, like every child, I want to grow up and put an end or very little focus to poetry come the end of this month. I want to get out of that emotional cocoon and open myself up to the myriads of real experiences people go through and put them in a form of short stories or imaginative features that trigger images and bring people to the realities around them.
The reason for this shift is that I would like to begin writing a book. I know that I cannot write fantasy or fiction because of trial and error. I also know that following up a series of events can be somewhat difficult. Coming across an experience and illustrating it at that moment works best for me and I am ready to take that new step. The rest of the month will be filled with my last pieces that I chose to put up other than destroy.

This transition is an example of many things that I am leaving behind as I close a certain chapter of my life. The past  is something most of us struggle with and no matter how much we may try to forget, without them, we wouldn't be who we are today. The past creates two sides to every person. The one we are and the one we would like to be. And sometimes, we are think we are stuck in what we are, but change is not always that bad. The change is not about external pressures but internal motives. Take up daily exercises because you want to be fit, and not to make those around you notice you. Get married because you found the right man and are ready to make that step. If you do it because society dictates that you marry at a certain age, or your family cannot seem to get off your back, guess who will be miserable? You, you and you.
The other day I spoke to a friend and they shared how the past consumed them because they were afraid of the mistakes that were possible. My father says that "History repeats itself". Oscar Wilde says "To define is to limit". The two intertwined are true to certain extents but that always comes down to an individual. Who you are was a result of the choices you made in the circumstances that surrounded you. Who you can be will be a result of conscious choices based on your dreams and who you are. If you choose not to make that mirror look, you become stuck in your own fears and possible dreams

"Life is like a book. Unless you turn the pages, you are stuck in the suspense of what you can do and that which you cannot." This is my new mantra. Turn the pages and be in control but be true to yourself.
For those who are religious, remember God is the beginning of your existence.
For the non-believers, remember it starts from within and not without.
For all of us, let not your past define you. The circumstances may be disabling, but capability can only be limited by thoughts.
So.........
What do you want to leave behind? Why?? And where are you going???

Just a morning thought........
Peaches

Monday, 14 October 2013

LOOKING AT YOU

Recently I met a lad who seems to always put a smile on my face. Each time I look at him I see something different and it amazes me. The first time we met, there was an innocence about him that was almost pure. The second time I saw him I felt as though I was looking at a creation with so much to give and I wanted to know him, but something held me back. As time went by, the lad and I became  friends. The last time I saw him, I saw a truth in his eyes I knew was different. An air of ease that is too exquisite it makes me want to act but I cannot without some form of nudge.
My nerves jump when I see him but when we converse they take to a calmness I seem to enjoy. I would say I love having him around, but am sure it would go to his head and I would never hear the end of it. His interests fascinate me because they speak of a need that can only be filled by a perfection granted by God. Each time he glances my way I find myself smiling and the response is similar. There is something about him that is dangerously captivating yet serene in ways I can't explain.
I know there are many words I can use to define him, but time will tell of how he shall be defined. As I get to know him I shall write more to explain who he is and the impact he seems to have in my life..........


WISHES TO BE REMEMBERED

The day you told me you wanted to know me better
I more than wished I could be yours
The first time I got to know you
I wanted you to like me
The many times you glanced my way
I wished I could be seated next to you for you to gaze into my eyes
The first time I heard you call my name
I wished for it to become a melody for your lips
Then one day I stopped wishing
You called me to you
I came without hesitation because I understood to whom I was going
I realized that I had always been yours but I never accepted you
I remembered there were times you called but I was deafened by the pleasures of this world
I understood that I never left your sight because you were always watching over me
Now that I belong to you I have just but one last wish
You not only like me but love me in a way that is incomparable
When you look my way I can shut my eyes and get lost in your embrace
Every time I speak I know you are listening even before I open my mouth
And now each time you call I respond almost immediately
My wish is that you teach me the ways of your Father, our Father
Because it is only through you, Jesus, that I can comprehend His ways.
I remember my wishes because I was blind
The day you opened my eyes they became the reality I wish to live by.

John 14:16
Jesus said to him," I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me."

Your loving daughter,
Jacquie...


FRIENDSHIP

Like a river flowing by the rocks,
It flows into our hearts
Getting deeper with each distance it covers
Becoming conscious with each passing moment
It is like a pearl that is cherished for its beauty
Valued for its rareness
And treasured for its meaning.

It is like a rare gem among the rubies
Hard to notice but when captured it is breathtaking
And like many things it has a foundation
One that is laid by different actions
Especially those that ate encouraging
And those who are truly mindful
Take note of one's interests and feelings.

A friendship is made by two or more
But the best one is between you and God
Then the others should fall into place
And no matter how hard it may seem to be
When achieved it is so precious that letting go will prove to be a challenge.

The beauty of an apple is seen on the outside.
But even as a fruit it comes in various colours
The few who bite into one understand what it does to their taste buds
That is who some opt fro green apples, some the red and others pinklady.
Similarly, until you spend time with a person
You will never know what they can be in your life
Don't be too quick to judge
Seek to understand then to be understood
The difference this makes in a friendship can only be told by those who travelled the path.

Appreciate a friend today!
Peaches.....

IF....

If I said it hurt,
I would not have completely explained it
And so I choose to call it an enigma
One that is so accurate in feeling
Yet lost in a myriad of words that seem to be worthless by the letter.
The pain is somewhat unbearable
Yet my heart is till in one piece.
The tears trickle on the inside
But the reason is beyond my understanding.
I want to cry
But the tears choose to remain within
I want to scream
But my voice softens when I open my mouth
I want to quit
But my conscience believes I can go on
Yet each time I think about it
I am overwhelmed by emotions that cannot be explained
If I could, I would write the pain away
If I could, I would take pictures and hang them on a wall
If I could, I would take the brush and paint the story
If I could, I would take up a character in a play just to leave my reality
But who am I kidding?
I can get through this
The problem is that I am afraid of what I am capable of
And until I trust in the one above
I become stuck in a dimension with no exit
Yet all I have to do is remember the way I got in.

BROKEN, HURTING

It started out as a day of sweetness. One that left me smiling just thinking about it. Now as I write this my hear is contorted with knots of reality. I wanted so much to forget my past endeavour. I needed to stop the condemnation of my faults, but it proved futile. My moods deepened to an unexpected sadness. I had hoped for a peaceful recovery but I was wrong. Met with a reminder of pain and sorrow, I sat questioning the sanity of the desires of my heart.
Should I have?
NO.
But with the occurrence of past events, those outside my control, I felt the need to do so.
Did I betrayed who I am?
Maybe. I felt as though I brought war between my heart and soul.
Had I lost myself?
No. I just made it appear as though I did.
Did I break?
No. I just triggered a part of me I tried so much to bury. All because of him and my wants.



Thinking of you

Over the next few weeks I will  be putting up some of the poems I pieced together in high school and some are just random thoughts I had in my own experiences.

I wonder what you are up to.......
Maybe you're lazing in bed as you like
Or dragging yourself to eat.
Do you want to take a shower?
Or is it the skateboard you're after?
Being serious in the library
Or spending a pound in your fave shop?
Playing in the snow
Or tucked away in your blanky?
Making a new friend 
Or breaking a girl's heart?
Thinking about me 
Or checking out your cute teacher?
Cringing in the exam room
Or screaming at the carnival?
Nervous as you get your results 
Or taking a walk in the night?
Whichever it is you are up to,
Remember someplace somewhere
A young lass is thinking about you.

Peaches 

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

A PEAK INTO MY WORLD OF THOUGHT

The other day a friend questioned my reasons for having low expectations for people. Technically, the answer is a tad bit too difficult, but theoretically it sounds as easy as ABC. Many times we try to run away from the fact that our past defines us. We hope to separate our experiences from the ideologies we have formed as a result thereof, but for those who have tried, they will realize the difficulty behind it.
Sanity demands that we conform our thoughts to the reality surrounding us. However, ideologies are formed form the very basis of a past we wish to forget or would relive over and over if given another chance to. When one has been hurt one too many times, they tend to stop trusting and depending on others more than necessary. They learn to manoeuvre around life's obstacles and successes on an individual track that does have its pros and cons. As a result, they tend to be picky about whom they open up to or they end up putting up a façade every time they are in a group of people.
Then again, there is the possibility that if I heighten my expectations, they may not be able to meet them. Then at that juncture what is to happen? Do I become an extreme introvert because I have standards? The reason I lower my expectations for many but not all, is because family and the closest friends tend to disappoint more than any other random person.
Meeting people is a course of fate. Being their friend is by choice. For family, we neither pick nor judge. Those who do end up in constant conflict and some take the extreme route of disowning. Family and friends have weaknesses and strengths but that does not mean we discard of them like mere objects in time.
In social and political philosophy I learnt that love is the deepest form of sharing. On Sunday, I was met by a further description I seem to prefer. Love is the act of the will geared towards another's highest good, accompanied with feelings and not vice versa. Therefore, in relation to the question this is my response. I choose who my friends are. With this in mind, I am entitled to determine how much they mean to me and how much  can expect from them.
The funny thing is that those you expect the least from tend to have a way of surprising you positively.

Cheers:-P

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

DREAM BIGGER THAN YOU SEE IN YOUR HEAD

Dear Son,

From the day I first held you. I knew you were destined for greatness. You looked so innocent and I had nothing but the best of dreams for you. I had so many plans for you. The first time you said 'mama' you took my breath away. You were born with a deformity but that never stopped you. You wanted something that was beyond yourself. Sometimes it hurt me to see you struggle so much and I blamed myself. Then one day when we had finished praying you came to me. "Mom don't keep worrying about my pain, not so long now." Honestly, that scared me more than anything. I was afraid that maybe I was losing you but you proved quite the opposite. Today I look back and I couldn't be more proud. Thank you for teaching me something priceless.

Love,
Mother.

When we look at the people around us, we are met by many questions. Sometimes we get answers if we ask, but other times we just want to take a seat and watch them prosper. At times we may get invited to share in their happiness and sorrows, but we always want something for ourselves. We all have dreams we hope to achieve. The problem is that sometimes we wait so long to start them that they die down. Other times we give up. Some of us use our short comings as excuses for being failures. We fail not because of our disabilities, but because of our attitude of inability. Imagine if Stephen Hawking, the man in the wheelchair viewed himself as defeated by nature. He  had everything against him and yet he knew better than himself that he would not let that be his bondage.
Oscar Pistorious is known as the man who runs on blades. His legs were amputated but that was not the end of him. He pushed himself to a point where looking back, those choices would have meant nothing if he never believed in himself. Yes we go through hardships, but when you use them as excuses, you become a failure by choice. Realise that your passions are bigger than your disabilities.  It is said that when the going gets tough the tough get going.
There are times when we are quick to judge others on their mistakes while we have done nothing to begin with. What we forget is that the one making mistakes learns more than we do by watching and criticising. The road to success is wider than we think. There comes a time when one is met by a detour or an alternative route that may not make sense, but a choice has to be made.
Can I make it? Will they support me? Am I really capable? Will I manage to make them see what I believe in? These questions run through our minds every time we choose to start something new. The fear of failure tears away into our hearts and for some, it manages to stop us from becoming what we aspire to be. This year however, I have a couple of friends who have decided that their passion is bigger than their fears. One has gone into acting and couldn't be happier. Another has taken up photography and I am definitely proud of him. My sister started her own jewellery line. They are taking risks to get where they want to be.
We were made to aim for perfection. That is what I have been learning the past and current semester. That there is something greater than what I can envision. I always thought that those who made it big early in life were just lucky, but I came to understand that if you take a keen interest in something, and put your all in it, chances of failure are slim. That however depends on what one views as success. So this year challenge yourself to be that which you want, but remember, a dream never becomes reality until you take the first step. Do not be afraid to make difficult choices because we are greater than the circumstances we are put in.

I hope we will be celebrating the first few steps of success at the end of the year.
Cheers!

Monday, 17 June 2013

MY DREAM JOURNEY BEGINS

I have a friend who tells me I think too much  and I gave him the name Whiskers because if you put some hairs at the opposite ends of his nose, he would look like a cat. This is one of the many  examples of my thinking. I have always wanted to help people get through certain challenges in their lives, but I was never keen on addressing the issues in my life. Some of which really made me lose track of where I was going and what I was aiming for. Fortunately, I have always had good friends who make me sort myself out before entangling myself in another web of undeniable confusion. It is from the point of friendship that my dream begins.
We all have those friends we go to when we feel like the walls of our lives are collapsing. When we need to cry, when we need to jump up and down and look like two year olds or when we need a break from the workplace and want to enjoy an evening of drinks. If you asked your buddy about that friend, they would never explain who they are, but how they are. By this I mean their characteristics and how they add value to their lives. Much as we all have such friends, we all still have skeletons we hide in our closets. Whether it is the abusive husband you are still married to, the abortion you had right after school or the stress you are going through because your parents are divorcing. What makes the difference is why we have these skeletons.
Some people are afraid of what society  will say. We are all brought up in different backgrounds and how we are taught to live with our mistakes is another issue altogether. One parent will make their child understand that no matter what happens, they can always seek advice and they will be helped. Now another parent will make it clear to their child that certain behaviours shall not be condoned. Yet both make mistakes, but only one feels like they have a support system at home. 
There is another group of people who seek comfort in, "with what I have been through, this is nothing." Just by that, one can see that this person has already accepted calamity as part of their lifestyle. Not that any life is all roses and daisies, but that doesn't mean we stay in situations because we have been through worse. Another common reason is that nobody will understand. 
I learnt the other day that unless you are empathetic by nature or experience, you will be judgmental by default. A good example would be a family that just lost the father. This mother has known only one man in her life, the teenage son looked up to his father and the 10 year old daughter is not sure what is going on. The mother spirals into depression, the boy starts a life of drugs and the daughter grows up giving sexual favours to men. They all feel lost but cannot speak up about it. They are all looking for something but you will not understand in their opinion.
My dream is to start a foundation, but before then I have a few things I need to learn. When life gives you lemons, does it expect you to make lemonade? Maybe so, but unless you are willing, then we cannot help you. Remember dear friend, "WE ARE HERE FOR YOU." Similarly, unless you chose the wrong type of friends, you will be surprised at the lengths to which your friends will be a support system for you. So today, with an eye opening piece of advice from my aunt, I have discovered what I want to write about. I just hope that as we walk through this journey togehter, we will learn more than we ever anticipated. 

Yours truly,
Señorita J.
 

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

CHER DUAN

When I looked at you today
I saw the heart of a man
Torn by passion and love.
It is as if you were afraid
Of the what come may
Yet what terrifies you more
Is not of the possible outcomes
Rather how you will handle them.
I say this to you because as I looked
And peeked into your eyes
I saw myself in the reflection
For I do not know what to do.
Am I really that terrified?
Maybe I really am, and,
Even though it tears me apart
When I have to think about it,
I know I have to deal with it.
Am ready to go through with it
However painful it will be.
Just promise me one thing;
That even if we change,
Please don't forget me
Keep our memoirs close to your heart
And lastly
Even when all hope is lost
Know that you will always have my heart
For you saw the damned truth
Yet you still chose to try
This enigma of life
Called love, with me.

Love.
Peaches

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

THE DEPTH OF A MOTHER'S LOVE

In the living room, there is a picture of two birds that speaks of parental love. It says  that a father's love is higher than the mountains while that of a mother is deeper than the sea. I had never before put it into thought until I discovered that though parents do love  you the same, to some extent, the love of a mother is incomparable. According to geologists, the highest mountain is Mount Everest has a recorded height of 8850 metres above sea level. In contrast, the deepest ocean is the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench with an estimated 10,294 metres below sea level. Truly, the love of a mother is harder to define than that of a father.
Sometimes we never get to appreciate just  how much our mothers do for us.
From conception, they choose to keep us and not kill us. They go for checkups and eat to ensure that we become healthy babies. They do not complain about the pain they endure and even after birth, for them, the joy of seeing us alive and healthy overrides their muscular pains.
The mother then has to eat to lactate, change her working plan to make you the first priority. She introduces you to the faith the family follows and ascertains that she is there for you no matter what. She teaches you how to be clean, how to  use the bathroom, how to greet people and even how to eat.
When you mature with time, she becomes more involved for you to learn how to relate with the fairer gender. She will be angry when you do not do something, because friends also feel hurt when you do the opposite of their expectations. She will exhibit all sorts of emotional reactions that help you understand how society may react and how to handle them.
She will teach you how to cook and clean bearing in mind that one day you will live alone and later on have a family. She fights your battles when  your father is mad at you. She will take you shopping to make sure you have the basic needs and the style you want. She will be mad at you but humble herself to talk to you even when she should not. She is you emotional and spiritual strength. This is why sons marry their mothers so to say and daughters always compare mother-in-laws with their mothers.
It took a long time for me and my mother to form a bond, but as of the moment she is someone whose opinion matters most in my life.
Take time to appreciate them. They forgive you when you least expect and love you regardless. That is why even women who abort miss their unborn. She may  not always be the good guy in your eyes, but trust me when you start a family of your own, you will undersatnd.

LÁMOUR DE PAPA; THE LOVE OF A FATHER

The other day I was seeking inspiration for a piece when the picture of a father holding his daughter came to mind. From that point, thoughts streamed through my mind and I decided to put them in words. There are certain aspects of the human  behaviour that are rather incomprehensible. One of them being the relationship between a father and his children. There is nothing more thrilling than when you look at a father smiling down on his child.
A real father is not one who helps make the baby, but the one who sets apart his time to be there as the child matures into a young man or lady. This concept becomes very visible at the time of  receipt. When a woman calls her man and breaks the news that she is pregnant, his reaction can tell alot about how he plans to conduct himself as he treads into the unknown journey of fatherhood.
As always, one registers a certain amount of shock. Then a multitude of thoughts cross their mind and finally, the right emotion is portrayed. At this point, some leave their places of work to go meet their loved ones. Others announce it to the whole office. For those who are very in touch with their religious dimension send a prayer to the higher power. There are so many reactions that are seen depending on the level of appreciation one has for such an occasion.
Through the nine months, they make themselves available because for them it is much more than just a child. It is a representation of their pride. They await a little one whom they can teach how to go through life. Another being to shower their unconditional love. One to raise and correct the mistakes they think their parents made. One to carry own the family name he wishes to establish as time comes and goes.
With that the plans begin. They start to think of where they would like their child to grow up, what schools they should attend and what they would teach them. Learning the philosophy of fatherhood is quite intruiging and, that is why those who are fathers tend to have a form of pride that is hard to shake down. The way in which men show a sensitivity towards their little ones is so delicately beautiful that it is impressive. Spoiling their daughters, teaching their sons how to play ball and ride bikes, and the most important; teaching them how to value themselves.
Fortunately, I was blessed with such a father and though he may not be the perfect person, I could not ask more of him. Learn from your parents as much as you can because what they do right you adopt, what they do contrary to your beliefs, you get to change them when you have your own little ones.

Take a new turn and appreciate those men in your life. They are more than just guardians. They are mentors without asking. Role models without choosing and friends by nature. 

DEAR FRIEND

As the days go by I learn to embrace the art of missing you. The other day I was pondering over the emptiness of my heart as I had lost one few too many. Some by choice others by circumstances that God had in store before I ever decided to make. The day was dull as my moods were captured by a circus of emotions and thoughts. Then as if my hands understood the distress of my heart, they began to write. At that point, only words could express what I felt. I myself was overwhelmed but I could not comprehend the nature of that dilemma. When wishes become but a silent hope of change. When you intuitively seek an indifference that cannot be aired out in the open, but expecting a reality without a starting point is a fatality that can not only break a heart but all slowly destroy a relationship of any kind. I miss you terribly and as I keep counting the days until your return, I ask God to give me strength as not to fill up that emptiness with grief. Please take care of yourself and ensure that you do not lose the memoirs that remind us of why we are still together. We do not know what to expect as time goes by, but we both have an end that we aim to achieve in unison. Sometimes the pain is bittersweet but most times it has its advantages. Although it may not seem big, I appreciate your efforts in every way.Small or big, long or short, high or low, I need them as I know you do.
Thank you for being my; Love, Bestfriend, Soulmate and my everything. Thank you for making it easy to love you and hard to live without you.

Love,
Peaches.

Monday, 14 January 2013

By The Poolside

By the poolside
Watching as the water
Though still, moving with the grace of a swan.
Some embrace  the waves and glide
While those who choose to face their fears fight.
Yes, all this in one place that brings us together.
Fathers trying to teach their children a way of life
Lads trying to impress the lasses
Known as the epitome of beauty.
And as if to affirm my thoughts there she was
Slowly taking a chance into the open
Catching the eye of every person with an interest in true beauty.
For everyone but her
Time stands still as they evaluate that which is before them
For her, however,
It is but a nature of life.
Then with her first splash
The distraction is disrupted
And I realise
That as everyone muses in whispers and looks
Some as critics and sme as praisers
That perfection varies in the hearts of men
And is thus bound to differ from time into space.
Ah yes!
How very similar yet different
Though time stands still for all of them.

Peaches.

Saturday, 12 January 2013

STUPIDITY

Stupidty is like doing something that you know
Will hurt someone at the end of it all.
Stupidity is putting yourself
Emotion infront of the gam.
Stupidity is forgetting the people who
Love you and care and running steadily
To the hypocrites of love and romantics.
Stupidity is of not reading between
The lines of a very dumb joke
Yet it is meant to mock you.
Stupidity is believing in the falsehood of fantasy
And basing your life on it.
Stupidity is yapping around bullshit about others
Whereas you act bitchy around your pals.
Stupidity is depending on yourself
Yet God is the one to lean on.
Stupidity is believing that time will stop
For you to count  your past mistakes.
Stupidity is allowing yourself to be taken away
By wordly passion and hastey love
Whereas there is a prince charming
Awaiting and believing in  your true love.
Stupidity is not reading this all this
And not putting it into into your punny subconscience
And correcting your stupidity
That is too stupid to be stupefied.

Those were the fine words of a dear friend.
Find her work at Shemzylee-hotspot.blogspot.com.

Cheers. 

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

God's will

Yesterday I woke up feeling as though a train had run over me in my sleep. Despite the mood, I picked myself up and started for school. My mind was captured by thoughts that kept crashing into each other. I couldn't think straight and so I decided to find an escape route  in music. Eventually, I found myself listening to the lecturer. I was glad  we were watching some sort of movie, because if she had said anything of mere importance, it would have worked like GIGO. Garbage in, garbage out. The day seemed to be sluggish enough and  all I wanted was for the day to end and find me curled up in bed, ready to face another day. Fortunately, a certain lad got me out of class and brightened me up.
At times we find ourselves in ruts that we need to be towed out of. This was one such point for me in life. As God would have it, I went to the right person. It only takes one who genuinely cares to listen with the patience of a bird teaching its young one to fly. The last time  I had been able to speak heartily to someone had been last year October. It felt so real and weight lifting. With every word and tear I felt the heft weakening. Being a father enabled him to listen and understand that I was hurting. In the end, I was grateful for the few moments we spent  together.
Each and every day I had been seeking a way out and here it was being given a simple solution. It made me reason with myself. I had been blinded by my own  actions. I had been  derailing myself, but as always God's timing is always the best. It may not always be in line with what we think we need, but it is always the best option. I had to learn to open up my heart to the changes that surround and stop being stubborn. It will not be easy, but at least I know it is God's will  for y life.
As the journey to new beginnings commences, I hope to make due where I should and learn new things.
I would also like to give a heartful gratification to my friend. A loving father, committed fiance, a dutiful son, and last but not least, a good friend.

Thank you God for guiding me despite my faults.

Love, Peaches

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Trust in Friendship

There are times in life we meet people, and with time, we slowly let them into our inner circles. Depending on what time does to the friendship, walls keep breaking until the point of no return. Unfortunately, little things can make those walls come back up within minutes.  The heart of a person can only deal with so much, and when those closest to you act as the enemy, you break with each passing minute. Having to put up a straight face and act as if you do not know what transpires in your absence can take a toll.
Life is like a pool of resources. Some you cannot live without and others you are better of without. People fall into this category as well. It is said that the only person you should trust is yourself. Today, after 18 years of existence, I agree with it fully. I tend to be an observer of traits and at times although tit for tat is an option, I forego the mental activity and leave it to God. With that, another frienship begins to fade as lead does on a piece of paper. Slowly, carefully, but always leaving traces of a thing that was and is ceasing to have meaning, unless redone. Promises are made and broken, but not all can heal with a similar ppace of immediacy. Some hurt more than othes, but they only make you stronger.
Last Year I met and  formed friendships. Today, some I wish to leave behind, and others I cannot wait to make more memories. However, because of my experiences, I put up new walls and broke some.
As life goes on, learner beware. Waves and tides will come your way. Just be sure to put the efforts in the right place. Life is like an empty jar. When you put in golf balls, space is left. You add pebbles, something is still needed. Sand becomes an option and finally coffee.
The golf balls are the important things. Make sure they are prioritised. The pebbles are luxuries you can leave with. The sand and coffee, however, you can leave without. Life does not need perfection, but satisfaction that appeases the heart. Friendships happen the same way. Some are more meaningful than others, just be careful which ones you prioritise.

love, Peaches.