Wednesday, 4 September 2013


The other day a friend questioned my reasons for having low expectations for people. Technically, the answer is a tad bit too difficult, but theoretically it sounds as easy as ABC. Many times we try to run away from the fact that our past defines us. We hope to separate our experiences from the ideologies we have formed as a result thereof, but for those who have tried, they will realize the difficulty behind it.
Sanity demands that we conform our thoughts to the reality surrounding us. However, ideologies are formed form the very basis of a past we wish to forget or would relive over and over if given another chance to. When one has been hurt one too many times, they tend to stop trusting and depending on others more than necessary. They learn to manoeuvre around life's obstacles and successes on an individual track that does have its pros and cons. As a result, they tend to be picky about whom they open up to or they end up putting up a fa├žade every time they are in a group of people.
Then again, there is the possibility that if I heighten my expectations, they may not be able to meet them. Then at that juncture what is to happen? Do I become an extreme introvert because I have standards? The reason I lower my expectations for many but not all, is because family and the closest friends tend to disappoint more than any other random person.
Meeting people is a course of fate. Being their friend is by choice. For family, we neither pick nor judge. Those who do end up in constant conflict and some take the extreme route of disowning. Family and friends have weaknesses and strengths but that does not mean we discard of them like mere objects in time.
In social and political philosophy I learnt that love is the deepest form of sharing. On Sunday, I was met by a further description I seem to prefer. Love is the act of the will geared towards another's highest good, accompanied with feelings and not vice versa. Therefore, in relation to the question this is my response. I choose who my friends are. With this in mind, I am entitled to determine how much they mean to me and how much  can expect from them.
The funny thing is that those you expect the least from tend to have a way of surprising you positively.