Saturday, 19 October 2013

ANOTHER CHAPTER ENDS

Most of my life I spent writing poems and I had fun expressing myself on paper. They were even more valuable when people seemed to connect with the art of playing with words from an emotional and intellectual level mixed. However, like every child, I want to grow up and put an end or very little focus to poetry come the end of this month. I want to get out of that emotional cocoon and open myself up to the myriads of real experiences people go through and put them in a form of short stories or imaginative features that trigger images and bring people to the realities around them.
The reason for this shift is that I would like to begin writing a book. I know that I cannot write fantasy or fiction because of trial and error. I also know that following up a series of events can be somewhat difficult. Coming across an experience and illustrating it at that moment works best for me and I am ready to take that new step. The rest of the month will be filled with my last pieces that I chose to put up other than destroy.

This transition is an example of many things that I am leaving behind as I close a certain chapter of my life. The past  is something most of us struggle with and no matter how much we may try to forget, without them, we wouldn't be who we are today. The past creates two sides to every person. The one we are and the one we would like to be. And sometimes, we are think we are stuck in what we are, but change is not always that bad. The change is not about external pressures but internal motives. Take up daily exercises because you want to be fit, and not to make those around you notice you. Get married because you found the right man and are ready to make that step. If you do it because society dictates that you marry at a certain age, or your family cannot seem to get off your back, guess who will be miserable? You, you and you.
The other day I spoke to a friend and they shared how the past consumed them because they were afraid of the mistakes that were possible. My father says that "History repeats itself". Oscar Wilde says "To define is to limit". The two intertwined are true to certain extents but that always comes down to an individual. Who you are was a result of the choices you made in the circumstances that surrounded you. Who you can be will be a result of conscious choices based on your dreams and who you are. If you choose not to make that mirror look, you become stuck in your own fears and possible dreams

"Life is like a book. Unless you turn the pages, you are stuck in the suspense of what you can do and that which you cannot." This is my new mantra. Turn the pages and be in control but be true to yourself.
For those who are religious, remember God is the beginning of your existence.
For the non-believers, remember it starts from within and not without.
For all of us, let not your past define you. The circumstances may be disabling, but capability can only be limited by thoughts.
So.........
What do you want to leave behind? Why?? And where are you going???

Just a morning thought........
Peaches

Monday, 14 October 2013

LOOKING AT YOU

Recently I met a lad who seems to always put a smile on my face. Each time I look at him I see something different and it amazes me. The first time we met, there was an innocence about him that was almost pure. The second time I saw him I felt as though I was looking at a creation with so much to give and I wanted to know him, but something held me back. As time went by, the lad and I became  friends. The last time I saw him, I saw a truth in his eyes I knew was different. An air of ease that is too exquisite it makes me want to act but I cannot without some form of nudge.
My nerves jump when I see him but when we converse they take to a calmness I seem to enjoy. I would say I love having him around, but am sure it would go to his head and I would never hear the end of it. His interests fascinate me because they speak of a need that can only be filled by a perfection granted by God. Each time he glances my way I find myself smiling and the response is similar. There is something about him that is dangerously captivating yet serene in ways I can't explain.
I know there are many words I can use to define him, but time will tell of how he shall be defined. As I get to know him I shall write more to explain who he is and the impact he seems to have in my life..........


WISHES TO BE REMEMBERED

The day you told me you wanted to know me better
I more than wished I could be yours
The first time I got to know you
I wanted you to like me
The many times you glanced my way
I wished I could be seated next to you for you to gaze into my eyes
The first time I heard you call my name
I wished for it to become a melody for your lips
Then one day I stopped wishing
You called me to you
I came without hesitation because I understood to whom I was going
I realized that I had always been yours but I never accepted you
I remembered there were times you called but I was deafened by the pleasures of this world
I understood that I never left your sight because you were always watching over me
Now that I belong to you I have just but one last wish
You not only like me but love me in a way that is incomparable
When you look my way I can shut my eyes and get lost in your embrace
Every time I speak I know you are listening even before I open my mouth
And now each time you call I respond almost immediately
My wish is that you teach me the ways of your Father, our Father
Because it is only through you, Jesus, that I can comprehend His ways.
I remember my wishes because I was blind
The day you opened my eyes they became the reality I wish to live by.

John 14:16
Jesus said to him," I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me."

Your loving daughter,
Jacquie...


FRIENDSHIP

Like a river flowing by the rocks,
It flows into our hearts
Getting deeper with each distance it covers
Becoming conscious with each passing moment
It is like a pearl that is cherished for its beauty
Valued for its rareness
And treasured for its meaning.

It is like a rare gem among the rubies
Hard to notice but when captured it is breathtaking
And like many things it has a foundation
One that is laid by different actions
Especially those that ate encouraging
And those who are truly mindful
Take note of one's interests and feelings.

A friendship is made by two or more
But the best one is between you and God
Then the others should fall into place
And no matter how hard it may seem to be
When achieved it is so precious that letting go will prove to be a challenge.

The beauty of an apple is seen on the outside.
But even as a fruit it comes in various colours
The few who bite into one understand what it does to their taste buds
That is who some opt fro green apples, some the red and others pinklady.
Similarly, until you spend time with a person
You will never know what they can be in your life
Don't be too quick to judge
Seek to understand then to be understood
The difference this makes in a friendship can only be told by those who travelled the path.

Appreciate a friend today!
Peaches.....

IF....

If I said it hurt,
I would not have completely explained it
And so I choose to call it an enigma
One that is so accurate in feeling
Yet lost in a myriad of words that seem to be worthless by the letter.
The pain is somewhat unbearable
Yet my heart is till in one piece.
The tears trickle on the inside
But the reason is beyond my understanding.
I want to cry
But the tears choose to remain within
I want to scream
But my voice softens when I open my mouth
I want to quit
But my conscience believes I can go on
Yet each time I think about it
I am overwhelmed by emotions that cannot be explained
If I could, I would write the pain away
If I could, I would take pictures and hang them on a wall
If I could, I would take the brush and paint the story
If I could, I would take up a character in a play just to leave my reality
But who am I kidding?
I can get through this
The problem is that I am afraid of what I am capable of
And until I trust in the one above
I become stuck in a dimension with no exit
Yet all I have to do is remember the way I got in.

BROKEN, HURTING

It started out as a day of sweetness. One that left me smiling just thinking about it. Now as I write this my hear is contorted with knots of reality. I wanted so much to forget my past endeavour. I needed to stop the condemnation of my faults, but it proved futile. My moods deepened to an unexpected sadness. I had hoped for a peaceful recovery but I was wrong. Met with a reminder of pain and sorrow, I sat questioning the sanity of the desires of my heart.
Should I have?
NO.
But with the occurrence of past events, those outside my control, I felt the need to do so.
Did I betrayed who I am?
Maybe. I felt as though I brought war between my heart and soul.
Had I lost myself?
No. I just made it appear as though I did.
Did I break?
No. I just triggered a part of me I tried so much to bury. All because of him and my wants.



Thinking of you

Over the next few weeks I will  be putting up some of the poems I pieced together in high school and some are just random thoughts I had in my own experiences.

I wonder what you are up to.......
Maybe you're lazing in bed as you like
Or dragging yourself to eat.
Do you want to take a shower?
Or is it the skateboard you're after?
Being serious in the library
Or spending a pound in your fave shop?
Playing in the snow
Or tucked away in your blanky?
Making a new friend 
Or breaking a girl's heart?
Thinking about me 
Or checking out your cute teacher?
Cringing in the exam room
Or screaming at the carnival?
Nervous as you get your results 
Or taking a walk in the night?
Whichever it is you are up to,
Remember someplace somewhere
A young lass is thinking about you.

Peaches